almost every time i’ve seen Bruce play at an outside venue, there’s been some luminous, very pregnant woman at the concert. she would dance in the moonlight and rub her belly. and i would swoon. at the last concert we went to, i was the dancing pregnant girl. i had Mabel in my belly and red silk shoes on my feet. i wore a lovely, gauzy shirt with a hand-embroidered collar.
and it was a wonderful concert. but my heart and head were preoccupied. my little one was transverse, not a favorable position. it means an automatic c-section. and i was worrying.
but Bruce sang his heart out (he did it wearing a hot pink tank top, but let’s not talk about that.) when it came time for the obligatory “Wondering Where the Lions Are,” it seemed like he was singing right to me.
had another dream about lions at the door
they weren’t half as frightening as they were before
and i’m thinking about eternity
some kind of ecstasy’s got a hold on me
whatever it was i was worried about–not being able to birth at home, having the baby surgically removed–when the time came, i’d be able to face it.
then later in the night he sang “Lovers in a Dangerous Time.” always a treat.
one day you’re waiting for the sky to fall
the next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all
when you’re lovers in a dangerous time
and isn’t that such a perfect picture of pregnancy? by turns dazzling and absolutely frightening. this time around my fears are centering on Rh antibodies. we’ll know a little more in a few weeks. until then, i’ll have Bruce singing in my ear.
5 December…first screen came back negative. really good news!