nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight

you’ve heard of those studies about how things that were luxury items a generation ago are now pervasive.  these days everyone has an air conditioner, something that’s certainly not necessary in my part of the country.  and yet, we have one.  it’s the kind that sits in a window; our neighbors passed it along to us when they upgraded.  it’s old and second-hand, but we do have one.  and we use it.  it’s just become normal.

in a similar way it seems we are used to not working hard.  if there is the slightest bit of resistance, we take it as a sign that something must be wrong.  i don’t want to be afraid of hard work, afraid of mistakes and false trails and wasted time.  just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean i should stop.  in a piece about the choice to homeschool, Lori at Project Based Homeschooling says,

“I am completely sure that you are capable of homeschooling if that’s what you want to do–not that it will be completely easy from the get-go, but that you will be able to handle whatever comes along.”

this is exactly the speech i give to new mamas who are learning the breastfeeding dance: it’s hard, and you can do it.  and isn’t that resilience what we all want for ourselves and our children?  often when things stop being easy, fear begins to creep in.  but we have what we need (or better, we will develop everything we need) to handle whatever comes along.

(the title of this post comes from a line in Bruce Cockburn’s “Lover’s in a Dangerous Time.”  this recording was made here in town the last time he played a show here.)


  1. Yes! Well said, Kortney. Worth the struggle, it builds confidence and endurance. And it isn’t always struggle – there are smooth times when it all flows together and we can sit back and rest a bit. (I’ve been enjoying the good things on the Project-Based Homeschooling website as well.)

    1. Lori’s the BEST. she’s one leg of my holy trinity of homeschool advice! any guesses on the other two? and yes, we need to countenance the good times too…to honor the flow.

  2. and lately I’ve worried about things in advance…being too hard for loved ones…so this gave me perspective and I will try to remember it. Speaking of memories–there was the old cassette you made of Bruce Cockburn and we called it bridge music because we listened when we were in San Fran and Oakland and yes, we were also in the elevator with Maya Angelou!

    1. so i come by my worry honestly! and our loved ones *are* carrying heavy burdens. i worry too.

  3. “it seems we are used to not working hard. if there is the slightest bit of resistance, we take it as a sign that something must be wrong.” yes. yes, boldface, underlined, exclamation points.

    just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it isn’t working, it isn’t right for you, it isn’t something you’re meant to do. some things very worth doing are just more difficult.


    1. i’m giving myself a pep talk, of course! so i need those boldfaced, underlined exclamations!

      in other news…re-read PBH this week. even better the second time. i think that’s the definition of a classic!

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